I've got the BEST FRIENDS!!

Okay, its Sunday. I've been sick with sinus/ear crap for a week, and now have a nasty cold, but I'm not going to sway from my plan! I've been slacking so much for the past few weeks. I haven't tracked my food, I haven't worked out in LORD, I don't know how long, and I'm feeling lazy and guilty, but once again, I'm going to jump up and restart my Mojo!!

My wonderful friend Mo @footdr69 sent me a gift: A FIT BOOK!! (thanks Mo). So I will spend my day today coming up with my 12 week plan and getting it all down.

My equally wonderful friend Jen @bwjen, graciously is allowing me to be a copycat and I'm going to take her lead of her weekly planned meals to plan my own! I find that a good plan makes anything easier!!

And then there is my beautiful sister @teetee_71, she bought me a copy of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred!! What a great way to mix up my workouts!

So with all these tools in place (do I have the best friends ever??), I will jump up, get back on track, and continue towards my goals of a healthy, happy, existence!! Thanks Girls! I luv ya all!! Not to mention a special shout out to ALL of my twitter peeps! They are the best people on the planet and have changed my life forever!

So here are my plans for the week ahead:

• I will "copycat" Jen's menu! :-)
• I will work out at least 4 days this week - HARD!!
• I will track all my food and get back on track with WW's
• And I will take control of all the things in my life that are getting me off track (this is a long term goal that starts this week)

So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! I love the inspiration and support that I get from you all!

I know this is a journey that only I can make happen, but it's so much easier to have the everlasting support of all my friends new & old as I go!

IT FELT GOOD TO BE BAD

Confession time..........I've fallen of the wagon.....no, I haven't been over indulging, or even being particularly naughty, but I have fallen none the less. My exercising has taken a backseat to my busy life (which I admit is mostly busy having fun!) And my healthy eating has definitely taken a backseat.

I'm going to take this time to give myself a pat on the back though! One of my most critical "eating no-no's" for all my life has been portion control. I've managed to keep this under control even though I've not been tracking my food like I should be and definitely haven't been planning my meals.

Hubs and I went to the Melting Pot for our Anniversary on Friday night.....I can't think of a better/easier place to over indulge. But I was good......for being bad. Normally I would have eaten that kind of food (eating out is a definite weakness of mine) until I was so stuffed that I'd have to practically roll myself out. But I DIDN'T!!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the delicious food, but as soon as I heard my body start to tell me that I was getting full, I didn't let my head (and the fact that we were at this fun restaurant) get the best of me! And I put down that little fondue fork! YAY!

The thing is, I didn't realize it till today. I've been super hard on myself this past week. Why oh why would I work so hard to shed 20+ lbs, and then just stop.....for no reason.....all of those good things I have been doing? Life? Time? Schedules? I don't know, but I did. But the thing is, all of the tracking and planning didn't just help me to lose weight, but helped me to realize that I didn't have to go overboard with food to enjoy it. In fact, I had a better time because I didn't feel miserable all night!

So I DIDN'T over do it at dinner....I managed to take something I had learned about food and USE it! Granted, it wasn't the healthiest food, but we were celebrating and I managed to celebrate without being jolted so far off the wagon that I was left in the dust.

So I've decided not to be hard on myself, but to congratulate myself. And as a present to ME, I stopped at the grocery store and stocked up on all those healthy foods that have gotten me this far, and I also made dates for the week with my girlfriends at the gym. For I am not a wagon jumper.......it's never to late to jump back on! I've decided.................... it felt good to be bad!

My "Piece of Cake" Surgery & what REALLY happened!!

It's no big secret, I am a TERRIBLE patient! I hate down time. One day, I can handle, even enjoy, but today when I still wasn't feeling up to going back to work or basically doing ANYTHING, it has started to take a toll on me!

On Tuesday I had a laporoscopy. My 3rd one to be exact. The first two were before my beautiful babies were born and were to diagnose and remove endometriosis. Well, after all these years, the pain was back, so round three here I came!

I had told my boss what a piece of cake this surgery was - two days off MAX! Luckily I was prepared for more & I have the best boss ever.

So the surgery was basically okay - good news was scar tissue (probably from C-sections, or just preganancy in general), and removal of a nodule? (not sure about this yet, but basically not to worry - per Dr. should help with the pain I was having in my lower left abdomen & my lower back). But the Endometriosis was NOT back! Maybe a 4th surgery isn't in my future!

But, I should have known right after I woke up that this would NOT be a piece of cake. I woke up in the recovery room with the WORST headache imaginable - but a little morphine and some dimmed lights took care of that! LOL!

Then WTH?? I had a FAT LIP! Yep - I was beaten during surgery!-LOL I'm not talking a little swollen, I'm talking freaked out Nurse swollen - & 3 calls from the anesthesiologist swollen! But about 5 icepacks later swelling went down and a-ok!

Then there is what I was prepared for - the SORE shoulders - OMG - you don't understand, it is excruciating! I have been sitting up or walking around for the past 3 days. Laying down is impossible - someone may as well put the death grip on you if you try to lay down! But like I said, I was prepared for this - same thing with the first two surgeries - the surgeon uses a gas to inflate my belly - this same gas is what gives me the terrible shoulder pains afterward. Yeah, I don't get it either, why couldn't I just have to fart or burp the gas out? At least I'd have alone recoup time!!

And then, throw in more of the unexpected, before cuddling up on the couch with my 8 pillows to keep me upright, while getting as comfortable as possible, I had these little blisters all over my hands and in between my fingers - "eh? - who knows" - well, I woke up with a.m. with hands that looked like they belonged to the Michelin Man! Swollen at least 2 x's their regular size - SERIOUSLY?? - WTH??!! So, not to work did I go, but back to the Dr. for a new pain med prescription!

So, I'm thinking there is very little left that can happen! (knock on wood)

So, how did I get through this week, when I'm such a terrible "down time" person?

Instead of reaching for the bag of cookies in the cupboard (which are still unopened btw!), I turned on my phone or opened the laptop. Even if I didn't feel like participating, there was always an entertaining, humerous, or loving conversation that I could follow along with.

At a time, when the bad stuff just kept piling up, I had a group of people to turn to - a group of people who, everytime I looked at my phone or computer were asking how I was doing, sending me virtual ((HUGS)) and, oh yeah, making me laugh and smile all day long!

So thank you to all my Twitter Friends!! I love you, I feel you in my heart and holding my hand even though you are all miles away, and I will forever cherish you all!!

Gotta have a plan.......

Okay, I'm not very good at keeping up this blog, but I'm gonna try to do better!!

So last Thursday - I had a FANTASTIC weigh in! And I was soooo happy with it! I knew exactly what had contributed to my success - plan plan plan!

The few weeks before that, I was in a plateau, and HUNGRY!! I looked at how I was doing things, and what I was eating and decided to sit down each night to plan my day of food for the next day!

It went GREAT! I was planning the whole day at once, starting with supper - because that is my most important "food time" as it is spent with my family. I wanted to make sure I could plan a healthy dinner that was good for the whole family and enjoyable at the same time. I'd move back from Dinner, to lunch, and breakfast - then finish with snacks.

I had also decided to plan for activity points and eat those for that day as well! I wish that WW's would use activity points before weekly points, but I'm sure there is some reason that it works the way it does. The thing is that those WEEKLY points are awful for me! I was feeling so intimidated by them - like if I dared to dip into my "weekly stash" I would surely jinx myself on WI day!

So, I changed my thinking - planned my next day, including what I consider Activity points, even though WW's dips into my Weekly points first! That seemed to help me get over the "guilty" feeling I had about those points.

And I mixed up my workouts - different times of the day, different activities, it was awesome!

The result............................I was able to plan my whole day, leaving no room for doubting myself about what I was eating. I also (best part)...........wasn't HUNGRY! And then, to top it off - I had an awesome loss on WI day! Fabulous!

So then, why did I spend the next 7 days doing nothing and being sooo hungry again. Sure I kept up with most of my workouts, but I just let the meal planning die with my WI! WTH??

I've had some issues with my stomach for a very long time, something that I thought I would leave behind with the fastfood hamburgers & french fries, but last week I was hit hard and it had me down. Maybe I was a little bummed that I was still suffering after changing my eating habits and working so hard to make a strong move toward a healthy lifestyle? Who knows, I think I used it as an excuse to be lazy!

Many would consider this to be self sabotage. Was it? Why else would I leave my success in the dust with the weight I had lost?

Who knows, but I've made a resolution to myself - no more excuses. It takes me about 3 minutes to plan my meals for the next day! Sure it may change a little depending on my mood, but 3 minutes to be full & lose weight! DUH!!

JULY GOALS!!

Okay, so its my day off. The first of a FIVE day weekend actually. This is the inspiration of my blog this week. Lets just say that my workplace is "competitive" no...... that's not even a good word for it. Everyone needs/has to know everyone else's business and everyone will compare their situation to yours and inevitably decide that they are getting "screwed" in comparison.

So, today, on the 1st day of my vacation, I get several concerned texts/calls about me being gone for a week and oh no - oh no. Huh?? Basically someone in my office took it upon themselves to tell everyone that "needs me" that I will infact be gone until basically forever in her mind! (this is the same person who, when she heard that I had lost 15 lbs - looked me up and down like I was disgusting).

This really got me thinking about the things I can and cannot control. Why was I feeling guilty about being gone? I often work 13-15 hour days, well into the evening, when everyone else goes home at 5! So, why was I letting this one person bother me so much and take the enjoyment out of my vacation? *staring at a box of cupcakes!!*

I spent most of the day going over these feelings, and realizing that I need to really take control of my OWN life and not worry about what others think about what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. I've spent too long worrying about what others are saying or thinking about my actions!

Prior to starting my weightloss/exercise program, I was consumed with pleasing everyone at work, at home, in life. Well.........its my turn baby! I'm doing this all for ME ME ME!!

So...... here are some goals that I have set for myself (inspired by my twitter community :-).

I'm totally gonna tackle the heathy eating even when eating out with my beautiful sista @teetee_71!! And this won't be easy! My husband (skinny butt - as we call him) LOVES LOVES LOVES to eat out. When we go on vaca, he doesn't spend hours on the internet researching activies.......no no......he spends hours and hours researching where we are going to eat!! :-)

Next...I am going to work on not letting others (and what I really think are their self-esteem issues) affect my life, I will live my life for me! I WILL set the tone for my day and I WILL NOT let anyone or anything make me feel bad about it. I will ignore the negativity of others and seak solice in the things that I enjoy, ultimately making the most out of the day I have made and not the day that people want to hand me - I will eat healthy, I will work out, I will vacation!!

Third, I am going to "mix up" my exercise routine. Since joining the twitter community, I've seen all of the different workouts that people are doing and it has inspired me to spice mine up, which is difficult with a full time job and two kids, you get stuck in a routine - and the thought of messing with that routine, sometimes sends me to negative thoughts of slowing down my progress instead of positive thoughts of making the time I spend working out and taking care of myself more fun.

So, this July, 2009, I WILL work towards living a positive life, loving myself and what I do, and working to enjoy every day! You know I'll count on all the tweeters I've met who are so full of inspiration and joy to get me thru! Tweet on!!

Skinny Bitch to Phat Girl & Back(Soon)

Okay, so here is my story. I have always been the "skinny bitch"! Yes, the one everyone hates who ate whatever she wanted and never gained a pound......till now! I guess it catches up with us, whatever, but the muffin tops appeared, it was impossible to be comfortable in a pair of jeans, and I was feeling worse about my physical appearance than ever before. I was in complete and total denial that I was gaining weight. Okay - well not complete - but for some reason the chocolate bar and ice cream that have always been so kind to me? Surely they aren't turning on me now!! I know......I'll blame those darn kids! Never a weight problem till these 2 kids came along!! :-)

So, when my friend at work (one of the people who has/had referred to me as "skinny bitch" - with Phat girl love of course), said she wanted to join WW's, but would like to join with a friend, I said - "what the heck".


So................we joined. And something crazy happened.....I lost 4 lbs the first week!! WOW!! That felt kinda good.......not to mention, I felt better than I had in a while, my pants weren't quite so tight, and my spirits were high! But let me tell you, those nasty habits that I developed are hard to break - I mean how do you break up with your best friends - Hershey and that sweet Blue Bunny after such a long......kind relationship (I thought we were friends?? *tear*). I know...........poor me, I ate what I wanted and stayed skinny *boo*, but really, it's been an adjustment.


But now I'm eating healthy, exercising, and feeling great!


Friends and support are the best way! I would have given up after a week if not for the support of my friend. And I'm looking forward to continuing a healthy lifestyle (not to mention shedding the rest of my Phat) with all of you!